Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
