I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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