if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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