mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize