Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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