I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
