four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
