After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize