I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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