You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
