In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
