Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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