Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize