How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
