How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
my liver is dry heaving
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize