There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
