I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
