it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
