so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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