Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
