Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
someone owes me an orgasm
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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