someone get that fucking seahorse.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
