who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize