Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
