i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize