Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
