So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
