Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
