Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
