i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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