my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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