Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
