So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
