Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
