Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
