I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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