If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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