Farmville is her only friend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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