I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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