Already got asked if we're dating
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We left the knife in your bed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
