I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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