I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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