At least make sure they are 18
Why
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize