I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
