well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
