is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He felt like a one man threesome
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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