The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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