So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
