Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
