The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
