A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
