i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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