is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
