Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize