So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh god it's open bar.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
