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• (727): View more from Florida

  a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

  (360): View more from Washington

  You're getting good at this, you know that?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat

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• (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  This guy needs to stop asking about my feet

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